Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
