i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
