You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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