I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
