i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Are my feet made of real feet?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
