She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I would ride that face into the sunset
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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