I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
