My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
