Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
