Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
