I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
