I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
