I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
