So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
