meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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