What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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