She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
