she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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