your parents love me but you hate me
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
