Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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