she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
