I think I am morally bankrupt
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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