I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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