Betty ford says i'm here all night
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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