we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
