i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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