I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
