is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
