I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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