i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
