Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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