I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
