Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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