I want to walk on stilts...naked
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
