New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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