At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
