Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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