I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
