Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
