Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
