"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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