How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
