I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
