I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
