its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
