at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
