Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
