hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
