i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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