So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
