as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Found your dick twin last night
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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