There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
