so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
